


Irresistibly

by probablylostrightnow



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Flirtatious Elcor, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Pick-Up Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1722068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablylostrightnow/pseuds/probablylostrightnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liara just wanted a drink or two.  She didn't realize that the bar was full of flirtatious elcor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irresistibly

Liara badly needed a drink. Shepard had messaged to say that she was done visiting Ashley and Thane at the hospital, but needed a few hours to “do some of Aria’s dirty work.” After those two stops, she was definitely going to come back to the ship full of grief and guilt and frustration. Not that Liara begrudged Shepard any of those emotions, but she thought they would be more easily faced after a drink or two.

Not at Apollo’s - it was far too public, not to mention under observation by her father. She’d asked Avina to recommend a bar. “Something nearby, but off the beaten path.”

Avina had asked, “Are those your only parameters?”

Liara, envisioning Avina directing her to a dextro-only bar, had added, “It should have drinks I can consume. Oh, somewhere I can get a Thessian Sunset!”

Avina had obligingly sent her to this nondescript hole in the wall. It was dominated by a long bar with three sides, with a wide open space broken only by a few chairs and tables. This made more sense when she realized that the bartender and most of the customers were elcor. She snagged a stool and pulled it up to the bar. She caught the bartender’s eye; when he came laboriously over to her, she ordered her drink and watched him start mixing.

An elcor with a frayed, almost ratty-looking head covering slid his drink down the bar and inched closer to Liara. “Awkwardly: I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before.”

“You haven’t. I’m just stopping in for a few drinks.” Liara turned to the bartender and accepted her drink, deliberately not looking back to her interlocutor.

“Nervously: don’t you think the weather is nice today?”

Keeping her head averted, Liara said, “We’re on the Citadel. The weather is nice every day it’s not raining geth.”

“Desperately: you know, blue is my favorite color.”

 _Maybe I should threaten to flay him alive with my mind_ _._  Liara sighed and turned to the elcor.  _Never mind, he’s already trembling_ _._  “Look, this is not going to happen. You’re just embarrassing yourself. Why don’t you move along?”

The elcor sidled away to his former position at the barr, and Liara took a sip of her drink. Avina hadn’t steered her wrong. The bartender did make a good Thessian Sunset: perfectly blended sweet and tart flavors, backed up by a kick like an angry krogan. She listened idly to elcor voices droning in the background.

“With leering interest: I love your leg coverings. They would look even better on the floor beside my bed.”

“Suggestively: remember that we elcor are known for both our length…”

That one made Liara’s brow markings go up. She glanced over her shoulder as the speaker concluded, “and girth.” He was addressing a giggling human female. She realized that the other non-elcor in the room - a turian, a krogan - were also being approached by elcor.  _What kind of bar did you wander into, T’soni?_

A larger elcor with a vibrant purple head covering met her eyes and started heading for the vacant space next to her. She focused her attention on finishing her drink, but he nonetheless ponderously took a place at her side.

“Lustfully: you must be using biotics, because I’m orbiting your singularity.”

Liara chuckled despite herself. “I bet you say that to all the asari who come in here.”

“With shock: not at all. Slyly: you are most definitely singular. Ingratiatingly: may I buy you another drink?”

“I can get my own drinks, thank you.” She motioned to the bartender for another drink., worrying that her amusement sounded flirtatious. It was just so incongruous, sentiments and declarations all being delivered in the same low monotone.

“Suggestively: perhaps you would prefer to enjoy that drink someplace a little more private?”

On the other hand, she didn’t think this one was paying much attention to her tone. “I think you ought to know that I’m in an exclusive relationship.”

“Insinuatingly: I don’t have a problem with that.”

“Maybe you don’t, but I’m certain my partner would.”

“Admiringly: this partner of yours must be quite a man to earn the loyalty of such a beauty.”

 _Flattery will get you nowhere, my elcor friend._ “She, actually. She’s a human woman.” She refrained from dropping Shepard’s name, tempting though it was.  She sniffed - what was that floral aroma?

“With unconcealed arousal: perhaps she would be interested in what humans call a ‘threesome?’”

 _Arousal? I’m never going to forget what that scent means now_ _._  “No. Absolutely not. I’ve heard enough from you. Please take your unconcealed arousal elsewhere.”

“With a mixture of disappointment and hope: I hear that humans become predictable in bed. Come find me when you need something new.”

“With no patience left: go!” Liara ordered, waving the Thessian Sunset in his direction.

The elcor slunk off, and Liara glared around the room, hoping to ward off any other elcor that might think to approach her. All she wanted at this point was to finish her drink in peace and head back up to the  _Normandy_. At least this story should help distract Shepard from her worries..

A voice came from her left, startling her. Somehow a third elcor had taken up position there.

“Strategically reducing your self-esteem: You’d have a really nice figure if you lost some kilos.”

“Nope!” Liara declared. She considered dashing the rest of the Sunset into the elcor’s face, but why waste a good drink? She drained it instead and passed her credit chit to the bartender.

“Creating a false sense of urgency…”

“I’m not even listening to you!” Liara cut him off.  She grabbed her credit chit back and headed for the exit. Thessian Suns or no Thessian Suns, she wasn’t going to be coming back here. And she’d tell the rest of the  _Normandy_  crew to stay away unless they wanted to be hit on by elcor.

A smile slowly crept across her face.  _Or, I could recommend the place to Vega…_

_Or Javik…_


End file.
